the insanity of barney's final sale, or, god answers my prayers, and in my size.

A STORY FROM THE BOOK OF LANDIS:

i had stalked this piece all season.

granted, i have recently moved to los angeles,
so there is no reason at all for another winter coat in my closet.

let alone a jil sander one.

and then it went on sale.

and i ignored it.

and it was second mark down.

and i tried it on, turned in front of the mirror,
and ignored it.

then it went on final markdown.

and i visited it, petted in, and sighed.

then, god showed me the reason for my move down here.

he marked it down again.

it was 87% off.

and there was one left.

in my size.

so this (yes, you see right) little pleated number now sits quietly in my closet,
waiting for a trip to a chilly clime.

the lord works in mysterious ways, my children.

go forth and spread the good word.

IF I WERE GOD :

men's magazines,
GAY OR STRAIGHT,
would be forced to put more effort into their porn shots.

i all for the porn shots.

i just wish they would make some effort.
like french playboy did,
when they shot anouk lepere, the model:

check the panties.  check the shoes.  check the gloves.

now THAT'S erotica,
baby.

if i were GOD -

 

 

daria werbowy would be more famous than gisele bundchen.

and if you're a guy, and you don't know this woman,
PUT DOWN THE VICTORIA'S SECRET CATALOG,
you look like an ass.